Why do we HAVE to forgive?

Forgiveness. It’s one of those touchy subjects we have all heard time and again. Forgiveness. We all know that “experts” say that we all need to learn to forgive. But why? Why is forgiveness so vital to our wellbeing? Why do we need to not only forgive others, but also, ourselves? What is the big deal? Why do we need to forgive the mistakes that we all make? Forgiving can create peace in our lives where bitterness, anger, grief, and heartache can live.

man in black and brown jacket and white pants standing beside brick wall
Photo by Melanie Stander on Unsplash

First and foremost, obtaining true forgiveness is vital for our survival. I want to start out by saying that it is okay to feel our feelings. They are there for a reason! But, it is not okay to harm another because of our own anger or disappointment.

We are here to evolve. We cannot experience a full life if we choose not to learn and evolve. Let me say that again… By holding on to the anger and resentment, we are choosing not to learn and evolve. A large part of the whole learning experience is to fall on your face (a whole bunch of times!), but get back up. That is how we learn and evolve as people.

I understand that a lot of us have been through traumatic experiences that are very hard to come back from. We NEED to forgive, both ourselves as victims and our perpetrators, for our own evolution and the good of humanity. We are allowed to feel our emotions. Emotions are there to protect us. Has someone harmed you, either mentally, physically, spiritually, or verbally? I grant you permission to get angry, really angry! Do you have fear in your life because of something someone has done to you? Feel that fear! Then, stop. Focus on that person. Pull yourself back from the situation and become an observer. See that person as a human being. Forgive that person for being human. Chant “I forgive them for being human.” Then, walk away. If you must still be in this person’s life, you can acquiesce to love them from a distance. You do not need to allow them into your “circle” again. That is reserved for people who you love, and can love you back. Reassess your circle often.

Choosing anger, fear, bitterness, or sadness harms that evolution and prevents us from living in the light. By not forgiving, you are only hurting yourself, not the other person. You lose your power.

Take back your power! Absolve yourself from the pain. Give thanks and gratitude for the experience!

Close your eyes and repeat, “I am human and only doing my best. I forgive them for being human. I forgive.” Keep your eyes closed and repeat this mantra to yourself until you feel better. Then, move on.

I distract myself with another activity until my mind is able to continue. Write your experience down in your journal and include what happened and how you have forgiven. Make sure you write how great you feel now that you have allowed the forgiveness to enter your heart and mind. Create peace within yourself. You are now back in the light. You deserve peace.